We Need A Reunion

The setting is Mel's Diner, many years after the series ended. Mel is in the kitchen, Alice is setting tables. A plump, gray-haired Henry walks in, and he is the only customer.

 

Alice: Hi! Come on in!... (pauses) Henry? Is that you?

 

Henry: Alice! It's so good to see you. I didn't know you'd still be working here! How long has it been?

 

Alice: Too long. (shrugging) What, maybe 10, 15 years?

 

Henry: Yeah, it's been quite a long time.

 

Alice: (calling towards the kitchen) Hey Mel, look who's here! It's Henry! (Mel rushes out from the kitchen)

 

Alice: (excitedly) So how are you doing, Henry? What have you been up to? Come, sit down and I'll get you some coffee. (ushers Henry to the counter)

 

Henry: Thanks! Well, life's been pretty much the same.

 

Mel: Henry!

 

Henry: Hey Mel! (Mel and Henry shake hands)

 

Mel: Henry! Henry! I haven't seen you in this neighborhood for ages!

 

Henry: Yeah (seating himself). I thought you were closing this place, Mel. You remember, it was the very last show of the series, back in 1985. You sold this place to developers.

 

Mel: Yeah, well that was a long time ago and you know how it is. Things change. Stuff like this always happens when fans are left to speculate on "what happens next." But that's still no excuse for not dropping by. You should've dropped by sooner, Henry! Business has been slow these last couple of years.

 

Henry: From what I remember it always was, especially when you were cooking. (Mel glares at Henry)

 

Mel: Watch it Henry, or it'll be another 15 years! (chuckles)

 

Alice: (serves coffee) So Henry... are you still with the phone company?

 

Henry: I'm still there but I'll be retiring soon.

 

Alice: Wow! That must be nice. And how are Chloe and the twins?

 

Henry: I don't know.

 

Mel: What you mean, you don't know?

 

Henry: I mean I really don't know. I haven't seen Chloe since that time when she announced she was pregnant in season five.

 

Alice: What? That's impossible! You saw her many times after that. You saw her when she had the babies.

 

Henry: Well they say I was there... but I really have no recollection...

 

Alice: And the twins... they're your kids! You must have seen them lately?

 

Henry: Well, not exactly. As far as I remember, I was still in the process of naming them, here in the diner, remember? (Alice nods) But that show ended and we hadn't come up with any names.

 

Alice: Oh Henry! That's terrible ! I'm sure someone will come up with a reunion show some time. We'll all find out those details then! Well, I guess it's not much different for me either. Last time everyone saw me, I was heading out to sing with Travis Marsh's band and now look at me. I'm back here again. So yes, there is a large gap where no one seems to know what happened to us.

 

Henry: I know! Just look at Vera and Elliott. We've been waiting all this time to find out whether they had a boy or a girl, or even what the baby's name is. That kid must be an adult by now and still no word.

 

Alice: Yes! And don't forget Flo. She was so popular because she said "kiss my grits" all the time! Wonder what ever became of her? And of course Jolene, who wanted to open a beauty shop... and Belle, who went to Nashville. What about them?

 

Henry: Oh, I'd love to hear some news on them! (turns to Mel) What really surprises me is you, Mel. Last I heard you were dead. Mel: (startled) What?! Do I look dead? When did you hear that? It wasn't written in the script!

 

Henry: Oh, I don't know. I thought it was in the newspaper or something. Maybe I misunderstood.

 

Alice: No, you've got a point there, Henry. I vaguely remember hearing something like that too. I think it was on the news about ten years ago. But I was waiting for a reunion show to find out what really happened.

 

Mel: You gotta be kidding! Are you blind? I'm right here, standing in front of you! Very much alive and well might I add!

 

Alice: Well, can't argue about that! I don't know. Maybe this has something to do with our fans again.

 

Mel: Geez, I hope so. I'm getting a little confused. Maybe I'm dead and this is all just a dream. I think I need to sit down! (heads for a nearby stool).

 

Alice: Well I don't know about you guys, but I think we're in desperate need of some sort of reunion show. I mean, look at poor Mel. (pats Mel on the shoulder) We can't just leave him like this. And what about this Diner? I know it was going to be torn down, so what am I doing here?

 

Mel: I'll tell ya one thing! I'm NOT going to let the fans tell me how my life turned out!

 

Alice: You might not have a choice Mel! No one else is saying anything. Besides, what've you got to lose? If you are dead, they can bring you to life again.

 

Mel: Or ... they might kill me off! What good is that?

 

Henry: For this Diner, it' d do wonders! Mel: Stow it, Henry! Henry: Well, I for one like the idea. Maybe my kids will finally get names, and better still, maybe I'll finally get to see them.

 

Alice: Sure!

 

Henry: And maybe I will be able to retire on the million I supposedly win on that reality show, "Survivor."

 

Alice: Don't push it Henry!

 

Henry: Well, it's a suggestion! Like you said, Alice, what have I got to lose?

 

Mel: In your case, only a million! Henry: Well, I say, "Let's go for it!" Let the fans write our stories.

 

Alice: That's the spirit! How about you Mel? You can't lose.

 

Mel: (looking somewhat glum) Well... okay. As long as I'm not dead. Maybe I can be married to some sexy broad.

 

Henry: Sure! That can be arranged, right after I win on "Survivor." And that's my final answer!

 

(Laughter all around)

 

(End of Scene)

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